A New Year Revolution

           I shadowed in the Emergency Department last week- not much blood and guts if you were wondering- but I did over hear one of the nurses talking about his "New Years Revolution". No one had the heart to correct him cause he was so passionate about his resolution but we all chuckled every time he said it. As I got to thinking about mine, I realized that a New Year Revolution, worked much better than a Resolution for me this year. 

          A "revolution" as per Wiki (where I get all my facts from ;) )" is a fundamental change in power... that takes place in a relatively short period of time." That is what my heart needs- a revolution!

          When I reflected back on my 2012 year, the first thing I realized was how much I have allowed my heart to complain. I think I have complained about something each day of 2012! I don't like that one bit- but hey, what am I going to do about it? Complain? - Not this time succa!

      I had/have a serious heart issue (Breathe! It's not medical... but, yes you can bring me flowers and soup). I have a ungrateful, selfish, prideful heart, that thinks I deserve more than I do, that doesn't realize all that I have, and believes the center of the universe is where I reside. Que bible verse that cuts the heart & convicts my soul:

2 Corinthians 4:15 Indeed, everything is for your benefit, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to increase to God's glory.

         Being thankful is not some "christian" thing I am supposed to do... it is a natural reaction to the goodness of God that should be woven into every fiber of my being. Thanksgiving increases God's glory and my attitude is something that does the opposite of what my existence is made to do- glorify God! This year I aim to revolutionize my heart (obvi God is the one whose really doing it), to change the power from being in my hands to giving it over to God... yet again. I have decided to thank God for at least three things- real, specific, meaningful blessings, every morning, and at least one thing has to be a blessing I have never thanked Him for before. For me this means, no more vague prayers of "thanks for everything you have done" or the "thanks that I'm not as bad off as that person" prayers... but The "Thanks for this beautiful picture of creation I have in front of me this morning with the sun shining over the trees, and the breath that I am taking right now because I know- I do KNOW- that it could be gone in just in a second. Ps. you are amazing" prayers.

Being thankful is not telling God you appreciate the fact that your life is not in shambles. If that is the basis of your gratitude, you are on slippery ground. Every day of your life you face the possibility that a blessing in your life may be taken away. But blessings are only signs of God's love. The real blessing, of course, is the love itself. Whenever we get too attached to the sign, we lose our grasp on the God who gave it to us. Churches are filled with widows who can explain this to you. We are not ultimately grateful that we are still holding our blessings. We are grateful that we are held by God even when the blessings are slipping through our fingers. 
-Craig Barnes

I know that seems pretty simple, and it is likely that I will continue to complain about things in my life, but I believe that God is more capable at keeping me to this, and bringing about this change that my life so desperately needs!

Just a Few of the million in one things I am thankful for from 2012 in pictures:

2012- God has brought me through 12 months, >150 tests of the rigorous accelerated nursing program! He has allowed me to see and be a part of 2 of my wonderful friends put their faith in Him! He has kept baby t (Titus) sane through Air force boot camp (He joined the guard!). He has reminded me countless time that His love is never ending and yes, He is worth it all.